Welcome to the

Studiology 101 exam

for Subheading Science students

On your desks: your student id, a pen, snacks/beverages/liquor.
Put your phones, smartwatches and tricorders away.
Unsuccessful cheating attempts will result in a failing grade and gossip in the faculty lounge. Successful cheating is rewarded with good grades.
Good luck. You'll need it.
If you require more sheets of paper, raise your hand. Our paper butler ("teaching assistant" is so old-fashioned!) will at once present you with a selection of the finest paper and paper byproducts.
Whoever noisily packs their belongings, lazily shuffles to the front to hand in their exam, and sprints out of the room during the final 10 minutes will be cursed by the remaining unfortunates.
It's gone. It's done.
Yes, Mister Frodo. It's over now.
I can see the Shire... the Brandywine River... Bag End... Gandalf's fireworks... the lights in the Party Tree.